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K003 — drowning sea

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I’ve been watching the waves for a while
Their rising, as the foam inches its way up the shore
And their falling, as the current seems to pull me in

The blue of the sea is enchanting
Its gentle whispers are inviting
The chill of the water prickles my skin
But I don’t mind it
The smooth sand washes over my feet with every footstep I take
The waves draw me further and further until my mouth is under water

I close my eyes and hold my breath
And I notice the silence now echoing around me
All I’m left with is my own thoughts, swirling in my head
Which is rather unnerving
In a comforting sort of way
I listen as my mind spills its heavy words
I hear voices I had never dared to acknowledge
I’m reminded of truths I was never willing to accept

I open my eyes to notice the light above me diminishing
I see blurred outlines of my friends and family
I strain to hear the muffles of their words
Are they peering down at me?
Do they notice my limp body sinking?
Will they dive in to save me?

I will not swim back up, I cannot
Despite my love for them, despite all the wonders of the world, I have no more strength to muster
I’ve sunk too far for them to rescue me
But I don’t mind

I don’t want to return to the chaos
I like it down here
It’s quiet, serene
As if time is standing still, no worries in sight
The eerie silence of the ocean as it swallows me whole

I feel a burning in my chest and my mouth bursts open
I inhale deeply and am met with salt as it fills my lungs
I do not sputter, nor do I cough
For it’s almost as if I’m breathing for the very first time

I let my eyes flutter to a close
And perhaps I am nearing death
But my lips curl into a smile as I feel something similar to peace swelling inside my heart
My heart which has been void of life for far too long